


Tangerine Tightrope

by LittleMissOverlord



Series: Everything's Good and Only Hurts a Little (This is Clint's Building, but We All Live Here) [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: First Meeting, Human Disaster Clint Barton, M/M, Tony and Steve are only mentioned sorry, a little bit of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 08:30:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20543168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissOverlord/pseuds/LittleMissOverlord
Summary: Clint's attempt at impressing Steve's hot friend would've gone a lot better if Captain America wasn't such a goddamn fucking gossip.





	Tangerine Tightrope

**Author's Note:**

> This is, like the other two parts, super short, not spellchecked, thrown together in under two hours, and the result of me procrastinating something way bigger. Sorry.

Thwack.

Thwack. Thwack.

Thwack thwack thwack.

“Impressive.”

Thwack.

“You think this is impressive?”

“White guy wearing sweatpants and half a pizza shooting down flesh-eating alien drones with what looks like a rod of bamboo and some fishing line? Hell yeah I’m impressed.”

Thwack.

“You haven’t seen anything yet. I can do this walking backwards on a tightrope.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

Thwack. Thwack.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Well, it’s true.”

“I think I’m gonna need you to do a live demonstration for me.”

“Oh you want a live demonstration?”

“Hell yeah man.”

“Ok then, watch this.”

Thwack. Fffffffffttt.

Thwack thwack thwack thwack.

“Oh wow.”

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Well what else were you expecting to hear? Me booing you?”

“Well for starters, some surprised gasps would’ve been nice.”

“GASP. Like that?”

“Good enough.”

“What else?”

“Some applause maybe. People usually applaud me when I do cool shit like that.”

“Oh you want applause? Well sorry to break it to ya but I need something a little bit more, hm, extraordinary to warrant spontaneous applause.”

“I just shot an arrow with a line attached into the wall of a building and walked over it, backwards, while shooting at alien drones at the same time. What more kind of extraordinary do you want?”

“Well, for starters, it would’ve been a whole lot cooler if you hadn’t just shot your last arrow and the drones weren’t swarming over us right now.”

“They’re doing _what_?!”

“Also, I would’ve been a lot more impressed if Steve didn’t come home every other day ranting about you doing inappropriate circus tricks in the middle of a mission. I’m kinda desensitized at this point.”

“Oh you know Steve? Wait, does that mean you’re- “

“Sam Wilson, Codename Falcon, at your service.”

“Oh hey! I’m Hawkeye! Bird bros!”

“Bird bros!”

“Wait if Steve rants about me does that mean you know about – “

“The tangerine incident? Yeah.”

“Oh man. What about that time – “

“With the monkeys and the glowing jelly? Yeah.”

“Shit.”

“I think I know about every embarrassing thing you did on a mission, ever. Steve is kind of a gossip, to be honest.”

“Yeah, he’s so salty. I bet he has a burn book hidden somewhere.”

“I bet it’s written in pink glittery gel pen.”

“I bet we could find it if we went to his apartment like, _right_ _now_ and searched it while he was distracted by the drones. Speaking of those -”

Zzzzzzzmmmmmm.

Zzzzzzzmmmmmmmm.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

“You know Clint, as fun as this is, I think we’d better bail.”

“Agreed.”

“Ok then, hold on tight – “

“GIVE A GUY A WARNING, WOULD YOU.”

“Sorry.”

“Fuck. And I thought _Tony_ was bad.”

“I refuse to believe that I’m a worse ride than Tony ‘Turbulences’ Stark.”

“Well give me an hour and a flat surface and I’ll give you my honest opinion.”

“What was that? Sorry Cap was saying something over the comms didn’t quite catch ya.”

“Thank you, God.”

“What?”

“Nothing!”

“Ok then. Yo Clint, wanna go birdwatching sometime?”

“_Fuck_ yeah. Hey, do you know that pair of gay swans in central park? Someone snuck a goose egg in their nest and word on the street is it’s gonna hatch soon…”

**Author's Note:**

> Are there actually gay swans in Central Park? I don't know, but I sure hope so. Also, yes, you can fashion a thin rod or alternatively a split log of bamboo into a really good working bow, but I really don't recommend trying to use fishing line as a bowstring. Why Clint apparently has both of these things lying around but not his actual bow? This is why the tag 'Human Disaster Clint Barton' exists.


End file.
